ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
