Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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