Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
