Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
