me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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