she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
