Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
