**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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