Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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