OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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