i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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