i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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