That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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