defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
