Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize