My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
