Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
