I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
