Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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