I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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