Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't deserve a penis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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