kristin has been a bad kristin
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
