I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize