My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
