Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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