Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
