my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
