erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
