Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
