This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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