Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize