so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
