Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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