I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
nutella sex= disaster
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Randomize
