Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
where are you?
Hypothermia
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
