everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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