My room smells like vodka and shame
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it's like iHOP with fire
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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