Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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