I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
