did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
