There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
