How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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