i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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