never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
