apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
