It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
