Someone shit on the floor
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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