so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
