There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
