Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
