The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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