dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize