Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
