Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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