and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
