Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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