Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
