They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
