I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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